TAKING A DEEP BREATH

Thinking about all that's about to happen this summer, I can easily feel overwhelmed.  The list includes attending a wedding, participating in another wedding, running the whole day for my sister-in-law's wedding, a week of work conferences, keeping up with my studies, a couple of jack and jill parties, trying to expand our financial partnership team, hosting my parents, hosting a couple friends, and our quarterly evaluation/dreaming day... and that's just July!  August entices us with a two-week family holiday to Europe (thankfully most of the planning is done for that already).

As I journalled about my apprehension regarding these coming two months, I was gently reminded to live by faith instead of fear.  Later in the evening, as I was reading, I came across these words:

If we approach life from a stance of scarcity, then we will worry that we won't get our share and will do all we can to acquire whatever we think is necessary to secure our future.  If we believe that there is an abundance, then we will be more ready to share and will not be desperate to stockpile goods or love of whatever for ourselves.  (Joy in Divine Wisdom, Marva J. Dawn, p. 140).

I felt like God was challenging my basic assumptions about my energy.  It was easy for me to think in terms of abundance when I needed to make decisions involving my possessions and money.  But when it came to energy, I realized I was living out of scarcity.  I kept thinking I needed to protect my time and energy.  I was, to an extent, hoarding what I thought I had.

The freedom of the gospel meant that Jesus was (and is) my source for everything - energy included.  I still needed to exercise discernment, but I could do so without fear.  I could look at the list ahead of me and welcome it all with an open heart, knowing that God would take me for a ride and trusting that if it ever became too much, He would arrange for a break for me.

As I talked this over with my spiritual director today, she offered me these words, "As your days, so shall your strength be" (Deuteronomy 33:25).  This will be the prayer that I will hold on to in these next two months.

I'm taking a deep breath and diving in!