PROGRESS

I woke up this morning feeling discouraged. I've officially been on "medical leave" for 6 days now and I continue to feel exhausted. High expectations, I know. It hasn't even been a week. But something in me longs to see some sort of hint of progress. Most of my days consist of not doing very much of anything. There would have been a time when I would call myself lazy. I know better than that now.

Anyway, what made it seem worse to me this morning was knowing that all my friends (and the world around me in general) are all busy with Christmas related things. To be honest, I can barely bring myself to even think about Christmas in the sense of festivities and gatherings. Actually, I don't even really want to think about reflecting on Jesus coming to earth. You could say that there's not much "Christmas spirit" in me this year... But I digress.

Back to the idea of progress: I was telling God how I felt about my lack of progress and how stuck in a rut I felt when He gently reminded me, Activity doesn't equal progress. Right. He had me pegged (again). Even if I were well enough to run around like everyone else, it wouldn't necessarily mean I've progressed in God's eyes. And the reverse is true as well.

Will I believe that the work He is doing in me right now is deeper than what I can see? Perhaps Christmas this year will actually be about Immanuel - God with me. God in me.